OK, so you have to be curious about “the process,” about how we work together.
To begin with, we have a simple, informal conversation. No cost; no pressure; no agenda. Just you and I talking about you, your work, my activities, your hobbies, my sports teams, your life at work, home, whatever.
This is the first step in creating a safe space for the two of us to express our thoughts and feelings and goals and issues–without any judging or problem solving.
That’s it. If you would like to continue the process, make it more professional, more of a Coaching Relationship, we agree to a certain number of time to meet, usually by phone or Skype, and the cost for each session.
You and I become “thought partners.”
• In our work together we may discover blocks and hurts, some beliefs and attitudes that could be holding you back or limiting your choices. We respect those! We don’t necessarily try to change them. We become curious about them. Look at them. Try to discern what role they are playing and what you would like to do about them.
These are your choices.
• I listen to you very deeply because I believe you know the answers to your own questions.
• Because of the belief that you are the source of your own wisdom, I try to ask deep questions to uncover what you’re thinking and what your goals are. This takes time and patience on both our parts to let all this unfold.
• I become your advocate in your journey from where you are to where you want to go. And in the meantime, I’m learning from you all about me and discovering things from our interaction that make my life richer and makes me more helpful!
• So we’ll laugh (or maybe cry together :)) and work through them. If you wish and at your pace.
We’ll discuss, but you decide what paths or actions you want to take to achieve your goals. And how far you want to go.
• We will hold each other accountable.
I will ask you to follow up on our sessions with concrete actions, and you will hold me accountable as a full partner in our process.
You can expect me never to judge you, or to urge anything on you. But we will create a safe place where you can feel free to be open to exploring your doubts and hopes.
You know are the right answers to your questions.
How is this different from talking to a good friend or the bartender?
Good question. Sometimes it’s not :).
Family and friends play a vital role in being healthy. They are a profound source of loving advice. They want what’s good for you, right for you.
But sometimes, friends and family are not seeing your story from your point of view!
They want what’s best for you but often as they see what’s “best for you,” not how you see or come to discover it.
Often there is no substitute for a loving friend to talk to you.
I would never want to be a substitute. All of us want for you what you are aspiring to. I may never be your best friend, but I will always be here to have a conversation with you. And work together, not just share advice.
One last point.
I will maintain the strictest levels of confidentiality with all that you tell me me, and will never share it with another person, unless required by law.
Looking forward to talking more!