FAQs – Frequently Asked Questions

questionsCommercial Message: I do offer short “coaching conversations” (30 minutes, 30 dollars, one-on-one) with practicing coaches (and other professionals) on ways to clarify language, and explore how your work (sessions, presentations, etc.) can be more creative, more dynamic.  These are fun, informal give and takes. Let me know if  you’re interested.  The benefits are fresher, more honed approaches; less formulaic sessions. We all get stuck sometime. You come with a question (or two) and we talk it through. That’s it!

 

So, there are many questions surrounding the Coaching Process: What’s it all about? How is it different from therapy or consulting or talking to a good friend?  What’s the cost?

Kaleel, what kind of coaching do you do? And how is it different from talking to a therapist or consultant?

Good question. I have to say, honestly, and many of my colleagues may disagree, that while there are differences between Therapy and Coaching, there is no wall. But often there is a shifting line.
A person who is looking for help with personal or relationship issues is welcome to both coaching and therapy.
Caring, intuitive coaches with a good sense of humor and a feeling for people, can be more effective than therapists, who can get stuck in the past, in pathology, and who may be too rigid in their thought process and approach.

But as Master Coach, Dr. David Krueger famously said, “People go to therapy when they are stuck on old stories and can’t figure out how to extract themselves. People come to Professional Coaches when they want to convert problems to possibilities, plan for bigger and more fulfilling future stories.”

Good therapists do that too, of course.
So, find the right person for you, regardless of the title! But, I’d say being with a coach you feel comfortable with, are able to talk to, relate to, laugh with, is freeing and productive.

Be sure that if your issues are so deep they are seriously interfering with your life or putting you in harm’s way, a good coach will refer you to another professional (psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.) that has the kind of training to help you work through these issues.
As a coach, I have no advice to give you except  to help you discover the advice and solutions you want to give yourself.
I may ask, “What do you see the outcome being?” Or, “How would you like to proceed?” Or, “What actions do you think you should take?”
But I won’t say, “This is what you should do,” or “You have to do it this way to succeed.”

What does coaching ask of me? What do I need to do and how will I be held accountable?

Well, you have to show up and be present. You will have to be focused during our time together. We can laugh and share stories, but we have work to do that we are both committed to. You have to be a “thought partner” with me to help understand where you are and where you want to go.
This is a process that requires patience. You have to be patient. I do too. We have to listen to each other. Ask questions. Test approaches.
You do have to complete the assignments as best as you can, and you really need to believe that during our time together, we are working to help you achieve whatever it is you want: a raise, more intimacy with your partner, more social ease, a different career, a healthier lifestyle.
You need to agree to work with me toward achieving your goals.

How long are the sessions, and how much do sessions cost?  *

Most coaches offer a free or complimentary session to see if there is a good fit. I prefer not to call these “free sessions,” but a simple conversation where we get to know one another.
We might talk about your work, sports, the kinds of travel you like to do.
This is about a 20-30 minute chat by phone.
Most of our work will be done by phone or Skype. I have found that clients prefer it; they are usually more comfortable in their own surroundings.
At some point in the conversation we will decide if we want to move into a “professional relationship” where we will meet regularly for a fee.

If we decide to work together, we will decide if our session is a one-time thing, based on some immediate issue or situation you’re facing. That’s about a 45 minute meeting, usually they tend to last a little longer, and cost $120.00.

You may want to commit to a longer relationship, which is three, 45 minute-long sessions a month. It’s the same price ($120.00 per session), but I’ll be more available to you. For example, we can have brief conversations outside the session.
You pay by check or Credit Card. Unfortunately, insurance does not cover this, and I ask that payment be made before the session.

* There is a client-coach agreement on our website, www.theothermecoaching.com, which I ask you to fill out.

How will I know if the coaching is working?

Great question! We are concerned with the benefits of coaching, not so much its features.
As a result of our sessions, do you feel better able to give that speech you were terrified of giving?
Can you now make a compelling case for the raise you want and believe you deserve, as opposed to just asking for a raise?
And, if you don’t get the raise, will you no longer feel personally rejected? Do you believe  you can now make a case to your boss for coming back at a later date, emphasizing what your boss needs to give you a raise, and not just your desire for one?

In a discussion with your partner where you both have been hijacked by emotions, do you now have ability to step back from the argument?
Can you deflate it; see how both of you are speaking ( yelling) from places that are not where you want to be?
Can you see neither of you is solving a problem, but making it worse?
If there is more kindness and openness in the discussions and less blaming and judging, then we have succeeded.

Promises and Confidentiality

I promise to do my best to create a safe space for you and for all your thoughts and feelings without judging them.

I promise to work with you to create a new, forward-looking story where who you were and what you thought is now used to point you toward the future and where you want to be.

I promise to be your co-creator and thought partner, and help you work out issues and develop action plans, which you agree to be held accountable for the steps you take to get there.

You promise to show up, be fully present (no multi-tasking), and agree to the work process.

Regarding Confidentiality:

The International Coaching Federation (IFC) has a strict Code of Ethics for all professional coaches, as you would imagine.
I will maintain the strictest levels of confidentiality with all client information and will not release client information to another person unless required by law.